Vigilance
by Nihlus Oken
Summary: A lone soul wanders the face of Thedas. As his journey halts for a moment, he is faced with the story of his past and his present. What lies for the world at the end of his tale? Rated M for Language and "violence" to appease the Fanfiction Gods DA:O/A Setting. Be Warned an AU is present. Amell X Maharial Friendship. Nihlus Origin. First of Series.
1. Preface: Journey

Disclaimer: All characters and assets belong to BioWare, story line kind of belongs to me. In other words, BioWare, made the car, I'm only driving it.

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><p>Vigilance<p>

Preface:

"Journey"

Running from the world was never easy, but I thought it would be alot harder then this. Every step I took I saviored, every breath I took I couldn't give it up, and every day was taken at pace. For a life such as mine I never expected to make it out. Trust me, a life of a Grey Warden usually doesn't last this long, well I wouldn't call this life.

The night had been young, the sun early set, as the wagon came to a stop outside an inn. The rain came down hard as we were unloaded off the wagon, my own boots sinking into the mud. As far as the drivers were concerned we were refugees, but we were mor then that. A family, soldiers, a gaggle of prostitutes and merchent couple, step towards the inn. "The next wagon will pick you all up at week's end" the drivers said, urging on the beast of burden to continue. I looked at the sign of the inn reading, "The Dancing Dragon."

"Funny I never knew dragons danced?" the one soldier laughed out.

"Not since for a long time," I whisped as I took the first step toward the door.

As I entered the doorway the hustle and bustle we heard from outside, was shut down faster then a mage's mana. The soldiers came up next pushing me against the door as rudely as possibly, rushing towards the bar. Next came the prostitutes, who quickly began rousing up the gentlemen inside. As the crowd re-ignited, the family, that had traveled with me for a time, came in next. The father, Angus, went to find the innkeeper, possibly to find a room for them. The wife, Deidra, a mother of two sons came next with one at her side and another in her arms.

"Do you think we can find a room here?" she asked.

"Don't think the little one will be able to sleep here." I replied.

"If we have to we will make do, the Maker provides what he can give."

"The Maker takes what he wills." I said as I took up an empty chair leaning on the back and placing my boots on table.

"Blight take you! No coin! No room, go sod off and sleep in the rain." I looked over to see what banshee made the screech, but saw that it was a dwarf, a rather old dwarven women. She took her walking stick in rage, swinging it in the air, trying to push Angus out of the way to flee.

"But miss we have nowhere else to go, if we can just..."

"I said NO! Now get out you flaming blighter." the women said.

Heeding the anger from the dwarf, I rose from my position and approached the two. "Angus...sit with your family, I'll take care of it," I said, motioning him to take a sit. "Miss if I take a moment of your time..."

"If you have coin, I have the time, by the way take that mask off, your making my guests uncomfortable." she spat out.

"I doubt any of your guests are sober enough to see, the mask stays, as do they, I have coin to pay for the rooms." I answered gingerly.

"I don't like freeloader," she said spitefully. "No deal, now get out before I call Bruce." she said taking a toothpick out, placing it between her lips.

"Bruce can keep napping," I said looking over to the elderly man in the corner of the dirty inn. "Twenty sovereigns will make due for their room for as long as they need. I'll need one as well, does five sound generous?"

She looked up, obviously taken by interest, and answered with enthusiam, "Well well, we got ourselves a deal! Tell the kid that his room is upstairs, you can have the basement downstairs, a customer such as yourself needs such a room."

"Hey Angus, looks like your kids get to sleep tonight!" I yelled across the room; he ten took his time to approach and reply, "Thank you, sir may the Maker bless..." "

"Don't even think about finishing that sentence, you know how I feel about that preachy stuff," I interrupted. He looked annoyed, but understanding of what I meant. I haven't believed in the Maker for the longest time, and as long as his family have been traveling with me,they understood my conviction. Not many did these days. As Angus and Deidra took their two boys upstairs, I decided to deal the mystic arts of Diamondback. Maker the coin I was literally giving out that night. I had never spent like this once in my time... I wish it was still my time.

==H==

As the last man fell drunk in his stool, the lightning and rain pounding on the wooden frame of the inn, and the inn-keeper fondling her coin, stood me alone at the table, finally a winning hand in play. I don't find much enjoyment in the fact that my opponents fell asleep blind drunk. I still passed the time playing amongst myself. Diamondback isn't the single player game, but who cares when the Fade is on your side.

I took my winnings, however small they were, and placed them into the pouch on my belt. The sounds I hear of men snoring and the whores moaning beyond the thin floors of the inn, none of which disturb me. What bothers me is the emptyness of the air, the stale taste of burning wood in the fire. I make my way to the counter, seeing the old dwarf finally keeled over in slumber. I feel no need to raise the blanket of wool over the hag, no emotion driving me whatsoever. The door leading to the basement is off its hinges, not a very good innkeeper i presume.

The door lifts by a wave of hand. I enter the dark stairwell.

The room is blank walled, only filtered by sights of a bed, firewood, and the small chair in the middle of the basement floor. You would think that a basement for an inn like this would be more like a storage. Something was amiss...a fire and candles already lit and prepared, no way the innkeeper did this, "How peculiar." I thought to myself.

As the metal of my outfit clanged against itself as I took my first self, I found myself met with the sound of a lock snapping and cracking...

"You best not move Ser." the voice whispered behind me, clearly trying to an impression. I turned around to the barrel of my assaulter's weapon clear towards my front. I began to speak, "I almost wish I had locked the door."

"Wouldn't of mattered ser." he whispered back. Turning my head back I saw four, if not 5 more cloaked men in the room, not counting the woman with the blade at the base of my mask.

"So I assume this isn't some heist, and this isn't the moment where I give you all of my belongings?" I inquired.

"No ser," the voice against the mantle spoke. "This is...a more of a greeting."

"Hah," I chuckled. "Some greeting, I've had better welcomes from Qunari and the walls of Minrath-"

"Shut your mouth MAGE!" one spouted, approaching me with fist in air. He stopped an inch from my mask. Gingerly, I replied, "Mage? Boy, you wouldn't know a mage if a griffon bit you in the arse."

"Bast-" he routed out, as he drew the blade that he thought would end it all..."Enough Thris! The Commander is our guest," the mantle speaker said. The one named Thris backed off, as did the woman. However, the arm near the back of my hood kept vigilant, and an arm pushed against my armor. I moved towards the middle of the room, being sat down like a lady-guest at a dinner party, how repugnant.

"So Commander...I hear you tell stories." The man spoke. His voice was sore, probably a chain smoker. He stood tall like a giant against the mantle of the fire place. He threw a match in pit, it quickly igniting. The flames grew fast, but I felt no heat off the flames. The man with the pistol against my hood kept his stance against me, no mention from the ringleader to desist or halt.I assume it was a precaution.

"Me? Tell stories?" I jokingly asked, " I know a few tales, but if you want to here a good story, I know a dwarf in Stark-"

"Commander..." the ringleader interrupted. "We don't have time for games." He was clearly a semi-impatient man. It was still unclear what they wanted at the moment they sat me down, but as the gunman and the leader argued over my ignorance and foolhardiness. What can I say, I know how to string out an interrogation. But for a moment, at least I could figure out who they worked for...

"Seekers of Truth eh..." I whispered.

"For Maker's sake, Casrhic! He knows who we..."

"Oh for Maker's blighted ass! What a brilliant guess!" I roared as my laughter echoed through the solid room. "Well..." trying to calm my outburst, "at least an old soul can still have a good laugh from a couple of cloak and dagger fools!"

"Silence mage!" he ordered, but my laughter kept growing, ignoring his pleas. The ringleader stood quiet, looking out the situation at front of him. The woman seeker stood at the stair, obviously standing guard, cleaning her dagger. The others just stood still as the gunman kept trying to bark his command at me. And then...in one swift movement, he fired. The shot roared like a High dragon, surprising from such a small mechanism. The shot went through my hood and out the other side. My sight falling to my shoulder, the gunman spoke, "...well at least one less mage exists in this world."

"You fool!" Casrhic yells out. Grabbing the pistol and throwing it against the wall of the fireplace. "We needed him!"

"For what, he's just another mage like the rest of them a-", he muttered before the leader grabbed him by the collar, throwing him against the floor. He drew his blade, pointing the sharp tip against his throat.

"Well...I'd say the boy needs a little pratice with interrogation," my voiced echoed through their ears as I felt their eyes on my hood. It raised with my movements. "You Seekers were always quick to judge, but like I said," I grabbed the face of my mask, gently lifting off from my hood, turning around the chair to face the seekers, and then again I spoke, "he wouldn't know a "mage" if it bit him on the arse."

As they stared at me, maskless, the energy within flowed out, arcing against my hood and the chair beneath me.

"What...what are you?" the gunman whispered. The leader turned from him, raising his blade towards me. The others followed suit, aiming their weapons towards my figure. I raised the arm of my possession, placing a finger on the tip of the blade, gently pushing it away from my body, and towards the ground. I took the mask and placed it on the emptyness within my hood, the energy wisping into my eyes once more as I spoke;

"How about a tale from an old Warden?" My voiced echoed etherally from behind my mask, striking each of the Seeker's souls.

"Now... stop your squabbling and take a seat, its quite a story."

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><p>(<em>AN: This preface was drastically re-written, I mostly hated writing it, but honestly I think it fits more then the last one. The time setting of this mostly takes after the events of Dragon Age II and Varric's telling of Hawke's story. I introduced the firearm to show the result of a whole new age of technology, what with a war going on. Seriously though, the evolution to the fire arm would be nice to face against hordes of blood mages, for the Templar side of course. I haven't decided yet but this AU is set maybe a hundred years after the events of DA:O. My Amell is mostly an ass just so you're warned. If your wondering why he is an empty shell of clothing with no face, well that comes up much later. It probably won't come up during my time with this story, but tidbits will show up hinting towards it. He is a spirit at the moment but no more spoilers! The story begins! _

_Please Review! Your comments will make me more inspired and a little more focused and focusing is awesome, unlike swooping! Enjoy!)_


	2. Awakening

Vigilance

"_Awakening"_

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><p>Fereldan is where my tale begins. It certainly wasn't the worse place it be raised in, I did hear that Kirkwall was slightly worse, what with all the insanity and the "rituals under the moonlight" and such. The Blight made it worse here. The day I finally passed my own Harrowing, I manage to get betrayed by my own best friend and get conscripted into the Grey Wardens. I know I must sound so happy and proud of myself, but the truth is that well…I just wanted to live in the tower and watch apprentices burn themselves and piss of Greagoir. No I am not a sadist nor a comedian! It would have been just very hilarious! Anyways, being thrown into the wild blue yonder was not on my to-do list. I'm pretty sure becoming a Grey Warden was under "Ride a High Dragon into Denerim to scare the Grand Cleric." Sadly, when you're a Grey Warden apparently you can't do that. All lies, Alistair got to ride a dragon!<p>

During my days of apprenticeship, I became highly intrigued by the Darkspawn, the Blights, and the Taint. The Black City always came up as the focus point of my research. The Maker's own throne always came up in the books. Everything was about how mages brought darkness to the world and doom and gloom, nothing useful. A few days after we left the Kinloch Hold, my curiosity got the better of me. I poked and prodded Duncan for any information about the Taint. All I got was the "All in due time" speech. I swear why people keep secrets if they are going to tell me later!

Sooner or later my thirst for knowledge was over, for now of course, and Duncan told me that we were stopping in a camp. However my reaction was not ecstatic when I found out that it was a Dalish camp, in the middle of the Brecilian Forest. Thank you Duncan! A camp full of raving mad elves that have a tendency to kill humans on sight! Such a lovely treat for me, I see.

When we entered the camp, I was a little shocked to see that I was still breathing. My studies into Dalish culture were probably not as reliable as I originally thought. The Dalish literally welcomed us with open arms; I did however remain silent most of our time there, I didn't want to offend anyone or end up in a ditch somewhere. However my knack for sarcasm kicked in halfway into the camp. "So is this one of the perks being a Grey Warden brings? I was hoping for Darkspawn galore, giant spiders of doom, and cake! The Cake wasn't a lie was it?" Great, time for awkward silence and stares of doom and gloom from every elf in the camp. "Maker, strike me now please!"

We soon found ourselves to the edge of the camp. It was there we meet the clan's Keeper, Keeper Marethari. She called Duncan inside her aravel, and I got the nod of shame to wait outside. "I feel like a Mabari. I better not hear anyone whistling for me unless they want scars!" The few elves around me look at me like I was insane. Now that I think of it, maybe I am a little loose in the head. "Mission accomplished, I feel like Uldred!" I shouted into the heavens, and still with the looks.

Several hours passed as the sun then approached midday. While gazing at the clan's heraldry, I kept overhearing conversations between the clan members about "missing hunters, and roaming humans in the woods. I took no heed to it; I had no reason to think we would be staying here long. Well…not until Duncan and the Clan's Keeper stepped out of the aravel.

"So I suspect we will going now, away from the frolicking and the forest of complete and utter gloom and doom." "I am afraid not Nihlus." Using my name for once was shocking; my own name was never used during my travel south by Duncan. My only thought was "Well I guess it can't get any worse now. "The Keeper and I have assigned a task for you, a task that will allow you further your path into the ranks of the Grey Wardens," Duncan had said gravely. It got worse let me tell you. The Keeper's bone chilling but quiet voice then joined in to the conversation. "Our best two hunters have gone missing near a ruin that they were sent to investigate. They have not come back and we fear the worst. The group we sent to look for them encountered Darkspawn and only returned safely."

So…ruins filled with Darkspawn and missing Dalish elves that are possibly not even alive. Yep my day had gotten worse it seemed. "Well where do I start, if you haven't noticed, I'd probably end up in a ditch somewhere." "Duncan, if it will be allowed, my First can lead him to the entrance of the ruins." "I think that it would be for the best." Duncan did not seem like the most cheerful person when the Keeper mentioned this "First". But he did agree that I would get lost faster than a Mabari in a larder room.

Duncan pulled me aside before I went to search for the First. "You path is clear my pupil, but there is another task you must do on this quest." "And that would be what?" I drew a blank to what he was going on about. Duncan only continued, "Finding the hunters amongst the Darkspawn will be no fair task, but necessary, for now you must collect a vial of their Blood, to progress into your Joining. "Well, I never would have guessed that, but since I'm going to become a Grey Warden, now it isn't much a surprise, Darkspawn blood and all." "No it should not be", Duncan calmly said. Blood, it always was about the blood. Why can't it ever be sweat, spit, or even a lock of hair? "Well, I guess I'll be on my way."

The sun was still high in the sky, and now I had to get directions from an elf. "Well at least it is a lovely day."

"I always liked Fereldan, the dirt gives it character" an odd but childish voice had said behind me, and it spoke once again, but more directly to me. "Are you a mage?"

What a… odd question let me see; robes check, magic check, and sarcastic sense of superiority… sadly checked. I turned towards the figure to rebut, only to be mildly struck. It was an elvish woman with a hint of nativity. I was such a bastard in my time; I was helpless but to mess with her. "Um, I guess you could say that, of course I could be lying, what with me having no staff an all."

"Oh well, I thought you would be, I could of sworn I smelled magic," the elf had quietly said.

"You can…smell magic?" Smelling magic, I really couldn't tell if I was dreaming or possessed. But then I was smacked back to reality. Not literally but figuratively.

"Well it's more of a sense more than anything, you just seem like one and…I'm rambling again aren't I?"

"Well at least you're not rambling to yourself, I am actually listening and I am quite entertained by the fact." Why was I so intrigued by her? Wait… of course. That blasted mirror.

"My name is Merrill, and I suppose you are the Grey Warden?"

"Bah you caught me, and here I was having so much fun." She had a look on a face that was close to sad but next to disturbed, it was hard to describe. So I apologized, "Well yes I am a mage and a "Soon-to-be Grey Warden". By the way, my name is Nihlus; sorry I have a cruel sense of humor."

"It's quite fine, we don't usually have guests, and Grey Wardens are usually the only ones who ever visit us. But I know you don't want to hear that, we must search for Mahariel."

"Mahariel? Is that a plant?"

The next thing I hear is laughter ringing through my ears, only when she calmed down she said, "No, Mahariel is one of the missing hunters. One of our clan's best."

"Um isn't there another hunter, I'm sure I'd like to know whose sorry ass I'm saving."

"Oh…yes, Tamlen. He is our other best hunter."

"Hmm…this "Mahariel" sounds close to you, a question if you will? Did you request this from the Keeper?" I'm such a bad man, I find myself questioning why I have any friends.

"Oh no, this is part of my training as a… I missed something dirty, didn't I?"

"Never mind Merrill. We have to search and find your friends hopefully and I'd rather have no one die because of my obsession with humor."

"How did you know they were my friends?" Merrill asked as if it wasn't obvious.

"I didn't." I've never seen someone like her, so easily confused. I guess I felt a bit pitiful for her, but one thing I know is that no one likes to receive pity for the way they are.

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><p>The path to this ruin was fairly a distance from the camp and naturally I was exhausted in my robes. Merrill was quiet and seemed focus on the path ahead. Well of course she was leading the way. Honestly I'm astonished the Dalish knew where this thing was, and that their hunters were missing. But I didn't put too much thought into it. Nonetheless it was a distance to the ruins and I decided to break the silence.<p>

Wanting to at least learn about her people a little more authentically, I had to catch up to her first. "So what does a First do exactly, I suppose you're not the first one in line for supper?"

"A First is an apprentice to the Keeper, the leader of the clan; we learn the recovered history of our people. We are to learn and protect the heritage of the Elves." "I assume that also means Dalish magic too," I said. "Yes, all Keepers know a little bit of magic, any part of our culture is important to my people. We try to recover whatever was lost to us,"

"I guess that makes sense, I'm from the Circle you know, I know nothing about my heritage or anything, only my name." I guess I could relate to the Dalish, having your history literally trashed away by the Chantry and their laws. "I however choose not to look to the past; I might not like what I find." "We're close to the entrance the hunters found, hopefully no one is…" She interrupted and then she stopped all of a sudden, only now I realize what fear truly is and that both our faces were filled with fear.

They lingered over the torn bodies of what I could see were more Dalish, possibly the Dalish that were sent after this Tamlen and Mahariel. Second by second, I sensed that Merrill's hopes of finding her friends were slipping from her grasps. "What…are those things?" Merrill whispered as we threw ourselves against a nearby rock to hide. "I…think they are Darkspawn, they may be what happen to…" I stopped myself short; I knew when to shut myself up back then. "Never mind, we have to find a way around them." As I whispered to Merrill, My eyes were trained on the group ahead, led by an emissary, but it was about to get worst, much worst. "Merrill run, hide, blow something up!" I shouted to her, and she followed, as the first fireball from the emissary hit the boulder we were using for cover.

The strike was strong, as it sent me flying a few feet. Thank the Maker I wasn't knocked unconscious. Merrill had hid behind a wall of stone ten or twenty feet behind me. I couldn't really tell then. I stood up slowly and I could see several of the beasts running towards me. "You will burn, vile creatures!" I shouted as my fingertips glowed with ambient lights from the bolt of flames flying towards one of them. The bolt hit one of the shorter spawn straight in the face going limp within seconds of being hit. Another came at me too fast and jumped on me, knocking me back down. I tried to keep its large mouth from biting my face off while also worrying about its large arms. Genlocks are brutal things, of course now I know that.

"You shall know pain!" My hand, lit by magic, landed on the genlock's head, I can still hear its skin being singed and burned by the magic coursing through my hand. It grunted in pain as I was able to push it off me and started to run towards Merrill. She shot a few bits of magic here and there but nothing too fancy. A few of the hurlocks following me, passing the genlock I had disabled, were not expecting what came next.

A burst of blood, bone and flesh shot through the air as the genlock blew up into nothing. The hurlocks flew in the air for half a second and when they landed they went limp. And the Templars called magic a curse, hah! Thank the Maker it was a small group, but there was still the emissary to take care of. I regained my breath as Merrill cheered in the background. The emissary replied by casting several bolts of magic at me. I tried dodging them but robes aren't exactly the ideal attire for ducking and rolling on the forest floor full of darkspawn and crazy elves.

I knew I couldn't keep this up for long, but I wasn't going to end up like the elves. But I was not going to give in. I summoned whatever strength I had left and unbuckled my carving knife from the Tower. I threw a fire bolt towards the emissary. As it dodged it with ease, I threw the knife at the blighted thing. The knife landed in the chest but nowhere near any vital organs I believe. The emissary laughed at my attempt but I had another trick up my sleeve.

I remember the tingling sensation the most as the last bit of lightning flew from my arms and into the chest of the emissary. I took a moment to regain my breath as the darkspawn laid before me rotting into oblivion. I stepped closer towards the body of the emissary taking the phylactery from my pack and filled it without getting myself recklessly tainted. No idea why I would be worried about that of all things. Merrill came out from behind the stone wall and approached me. "That was…amazing. I never seen someone so brave!" she yelled in my ear as she avoided the corpses. I can't remember if she was frolic or scared at the sight of burning flesh. "I wouldn't say amazing, more like insane. I'm surprised we lived through this." I said as she then moved to the bodies of her brethren.

"I can't believe…they're all dead…what if? No, they wouldn't be. They couldn't be…," she collapsed as tears started flowing down her eyes. Never have I ever seen anyone so heartbroken, well except for Jowan but he deserved it.

"Merrill…they will not have died in vain, if your friends are as strong as your clan says they are, they will be still alive," I said as walked towards the overlook of a small chasm. "Because we will find them and slay everything in our path." "How…but how…?" she said. "I believe in going head first and ask questions later." She looked behind herself towards me as I pointed to the entrance of the ruins. "Also, it's in my job description, being Grey Warden and all." Well a recruit at the time…


	3. Blasphemy and Saviors

_Vigilance_

"_Blasphemy and Saviors"_

The second we stepped into those ruins, I knew we would be swimming in darkspawn. Well I was half right. Our firsts steps into the ruin was accompanied with yet another encounter with the creatures. This time, it would be Merrill to well, "use her magic", no pun intended of course. It was a small group like the rest, but Merrill easily crushed them with several primal spells. Two of the hurlocks looked like ragdolls after smashed into the wall and the lone gunlock was burnt to a crisp from the lightning she summoned. "Dalish magic, I presume?" "I never said it was all Dalish magic." "By the Maker, elves!" I laughed out as I continued down the hallway.

"These statues look elven…but not elven." "I don't know, everything looks elven to me in her." I said, as we walked down the longest hallway ever invented. I swear it was like we walked for miles. But as I looked back to check on her, she was gone. "Merrill?" I questioned, looking at the down the hall. "Nihlus over here!" "Where?" She poked out of what seemed to be a doorway. _"Did I really miss that?" _I thought to myself as I ran towards Merrill. But as soon as I turned towards the entrance of this new doorway,…it was that blasted mirror.

I approached Merrill, who was kneeling and holding another elf in her arms, crying. "Mahariel wake up!" She screamed. I wasn't fully aware of her pain, my mind was on this mirror. "_Why is it glowing? And what happened to the other elf?"_ "Merrill?...If that is Mahariel, where is your friend Tamlen?" "I…I don't know." She whispered as I knelt down to check on her friend. "Well I'm no healer but, he's alive, barely. "I'm afraid Tamlen is gone." I looked up to see Duncan staring in the entrance in front of us. "Duncan? What the in Fade is that thing and what are you doing here?" "Patience child, we must get the other elf to the clan." "But…what about Tamlen?" Merrill whispered once more. "I'm afraid your friend is gone corrupted by the taint, which I suspect is… this." He stepped up towards the mirror passed us, drawing his blade and finally striking and shattering the mirror. The energy released felt evil, corruption,…and tainted. The first piece of the puzzle.

"Why did you do that?" I asked. "That mirror was the source of the corruption of this forest, it had to be destroyed." "Well don't you think we could have learned something from it before you shattered into pieces?" "It is our duty as Grey Wardens to defend the land from the Blight, the Taint, and the darkspawn, one way or another young one. You will soon know this as well." I looked down at Merrill, both of us wanted the mirror to been left for both of us to study. It had to have been elven in origin, and if it was corrupted, why not learn a little about the taint while we were at it. But obviously that wasn't going to happen.

Duncan proceeded to take Mahariel's body over his shoulder and proceeded out of the cave. "I will meet the both of you back at the camp, the keeper is expecting you both." Duncan shouted. I however proceed to do the thing the chantry hates mages for, touching evil artifacts of doom and gloom, and tainted furniture. I reach down to pick up one of the rounder shards of the mirror and proceeded to place it a cloth and into my pack. "What…what are you doing?" "There is something about this mirror that we don't know; it has some sort of connection to the taint. Even shattered, these shards have immense power…and knowledge." I said as I kept my eyes focused on the shattered pieces. I picked another piece and placed that one into another piece of cloth.

Standing back up with the shard in hand, I took Merrill's hand and placed the shard into hers. "Whatever this…mirrors is its elven and as the first to your Keeper, it should be yours to study." "But he said the mirror was…evil, corrupted even!" "Those who fear the past never learn from its mistakes, those who seek answers to the past get lost. It is those who build on the ruins of the past can achieve what they believe. This mirror has some connection to your friend, and he is gravely ill. Maybe this mirror has the answers, I can't be sure but it is worth discovering." She looked grim as if she was asked to kill her own keeper. If I had known what had occurred, I would have left that blasted mirror in the pieces.

"Come Merrill, before Duncan sends another search party." I shouted as I started my way back to the entrance. She quickly followed, as I could see she still had the shard, placing in her own pack. A few feet from the entrance she started rambling about why she should study this mirror. She kept coming up with her own answers. "Merrill, let me make it clear. I am not giving you a quest, it is something you must do own your own." "But what if the Keeper…disapproves?" "Merrill, every culture has its pariahs, but it seen in every generation those pariahs show that they were shunned for the wrong reason. Your path might lead to be a pariah, fate works in mysterious ways."

"Perhaps they do, thank you Nihlus. This has given me some…perspective." She said to as we finally started to exit those blasted ruins. "But can I ask another question?" "Yes Merrill?" "Have you ever done…blood magic?" "You ask something that could get me killed in the Tower, but no I have not, but I did know someone who did. It was…not a riveting experience." "Would you ever use it?" "Would you Merrill?" "I…" "I don't know either, but only our will determines this, nothing is set in stone."

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><p>The morning after we finally got back from the ruins it was mildly humid but dry thank the Maker. Duncan had already woken up and went into Keeper Marethari's aravel, probably discussing the situation with Maharial. My morning was a little more…normal maybe?<p>

Robes should not be worn in the outdoors…ever, especially if those outdoors is filled with Darkspawn and blasphemous mirror. So I decided to put those lessons from Wynne to use. A few hours of merciless effort and trading with the clan's craftsmen, I finally made my dysfunctional robe into a cloth hooded coat…and pants to go along with it.

Soon after, Merrill and Keeper Marethari stepped out of the aravel only to approach me. "Thank child for bringing Maharial back to us, we are forever in your debt." She said with a calm gentle voice. "Will he survive?" I asked. "I do not know Duncan is the only one who can answer that. Merrill can you bring him here Maharial will be awake soon enough." "Yes Keeper." Merrill said as she left, looking like she was just being scolded. "Keeper Marethari?" "Yes child?" "I think I know what you meant by Duncan having the answer…" "I'm sure you do child." "Nihlus, my name is Nihlus." "Thank you again Nihlus." She said as Duncan and Merrill approached us. As they got near us, the aravel opened, unbeknownst to him, his life would too be forever changed.

"Keeper Marathari, by the Creators what happened, who are these Shems?" He said with a sort of a grizzly voice but low and solid. "Come da-len, there is much to discuss, much has occurred." My own ears were twitching from the things I heard at that moment. But it's like I said Fate works in mysterious ways, but we are only tools. At that moment I realized I was a tool, Merrill's path is separate from my own, but I still to this moment fear what repercussions occurred from me giving that shard to Merrill. All for Maharial.

"Bullshit! There is no way I am going with these Shem!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. "I am sorry." Duncan said. "But that is no other way to survive the corruption." "But there has to be another way!" Merrill inquired. "There is not." Duncan said calmly…too calmly. "I said I'm not going!" He shouted once more. It was getting to repetitive for me to hear again and again so I finally opened my big mouth…

"And what elf? You would rather die with no hope and let your clan forever grieve for not only one but then two of their clan mates. If your only chance to live is right here, and your too attached to spare them the grief. I'd sooner dive into the Deep Roads then become a Ghoul!" I said trying to keep my voice down as best as I could. "And I suppose you didn't have an actual family who you would never abandon?" He grunted as the fire started to die down in front of us.

"No… I do not, no mage has family to love and cherish them. No actual home to call our own. We are given a choice, live as prisoners or die as heathens. Your people need a future which is given and forged by every last one of you, one dies, and your whole culture goes with you. Here's a choice, die as a fool or live and breathe Dalish, as a Grey Warden, because I know I will be rewarded for what I do to defend Thedas from the Blight. The decision is yours…Mahariel." I finally sat down when he finally took a seat. "Then it is decided." Duncan said, "We shall leave in the afternoon, you may have time to say your farewells." "Duncan I have my vial." I handed Duncan the vial of the blood I took from the emissary. If I remember right, I was kind of eager wait till what became of that spew.

The afternoon air was full of regret and sadness. It was so potent I could smell it in the air. As Maharial gave his good byes and farewell, I really saw what he meant. The whole clan was his family, not by blood, but something deeper. In a sense he was to become a pariah, he would probably never see the clan again. I then realized the sadness in my life, of having no one to call family, no real home, isolated from the rest of the world. "Maybe being a Grey Warden will be better then it seems." I whispered to myself. Merrill had already told me of the "cure" Marethari administered to Maharial, but I think even she didn't think it would work. But not after long, Duncan and I gave our farewells, and departed through the Brecilian Forest with yet another recruit. If only I knew then where Duncan was leading us to then...If I did, then Thedas would be forever dark. Ostagar…never has a name ever pierced my mind like a knife into a fresh carcass. It was the birthplace of new ideas, revolution,… and new magic.

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><p><em>(AN: To those who are wondering, I was starting off with a very short origin story which will soon wind up into the meat of the story itself. Reviews and comments are still welcome!)_


	4. Horizons

_Vigilance_

"_Horizons"_

The only things I knew about Ostagar was from what I read in the books. Built by the Imperium to defend what is now Fereldan from the Chasind from the south. I found it odd that Fereldan was never stubborn enough just to tear down its walls since the Chasind is just a small nuisance nowadays. When we finally could see the famed Tower of Ishal, Maharial decided to finally speak his mind.

"How fitting…an elf is forced from his home to travel to some Tevinter ruin to participate in the vanquishing of blighted fiends that they brought upon." He said with a cold voice. "Let me guess, you blame mages for the fact that the elves have lost their heritage." I said.

"No, if anything I feel sympathy for you. From what I heard of the human circles, mages are anything but considered human." "Thanks…I guess." I said as I wondered what was his real implications were.

"Humans in general want nothing but power. Magic is only a tool. You being hunted and imprisoned for existing does not seem like a life of leisure." He said as the bow clattered on his back during our walk. "Would it be the same if the elves had power?" I said as he stopped to think. "I cannot say…" he whispered as he re-began his stride.

Duncan was mostly silent during the trip to Ostagar, never has a man resembled a stone wall more than Duncan. But now I see why.

Our arrival was not without notice. As we began down the path towards the canyon bridge, we were stopped by non-other than King Cailan himself. Myself and Maharial as Duncan and Cailan spoke to each other, Cailan speaking of glory of battle and what not. The man had to be at least older than me or closer. When the king turned to us he said, "And these must be new recruits, tell me friends what are your names?" As such I introduced myself, and Maharial kept his broody elf act up to par.

"I am no friend of yours…human lord." I quickly proceeded to give him a…"gentle reminder."

"What in Mythal was that for Shem?" "A reminder of you in the Maker's name you are speaking to elf." I said trying to avoid him from retaliating. But as soon as I uttered the word, King Cailan was off walking towards the bridge…something about an angry uncle sending a search party or something.

"Look what you did now, you scared him." I snickered. "Bah!" was his only reply.

"Enough! It is time for you two to stop bickering like children and take your role as Grey Wardens seriously," as Duncan said the first words he said to us since we left the Dalish camp.

"Well, Duncan as far as I know, we know ...let me see…nothing at all about being Grey Wardens! Well, except for the killing of Darkspawn and archdemons of course," I calmly replied. You see, I understand now why all the secrecy about joining the Grey Wardens, but it seems redundant at the same time.

As Duncan sighed at my small rebellion, Maharial was quick to step in. "What in the Dread Wolf do we have do to Duncan, sooner or later we have to know."

"I will not lie to you two." Duncan said, turning towards the bridge. "We Grey Wardens pay a terrible price for what we must do. It is time to being your trials. Daylen, you will accompany across the bridge to meet the others to being your first trial. Nihlus you will go find Alistair; he is by the war-table, past the quartermasters."

"Seems trivial to me." I mentioned. "It is not." He replied back.

As Duncan and Maharial ventured onto the bridge, I stayed behind for a moment, looking at the Tower of Ishal for the moment. Nowadays that was a better time…and possibly one of my better memories.

I crept upon on the bridge. Now for someone who lives in a Tower in the middle of a lake, barely connected by a bridge…I do not like heights…and I never will.

"How in damnation does this thing stay together!" I shouted into the heavens, I think everyone from Fort Drakon to the Grand Cathedral could hear me.

Trying to get over my fear of heights, I cross the bridge, carefully of course. But nonetheless made it over, if only it was the tougher part.

On the other side of the bridge, I managed to sneak a peek in to what seemed to be a campsite. "You there!" is the first thing I hear. I quickly tried to get past the camp but to no avail. "Halt mage!" the voice said. "Shit…" was the only thing on my mind.

Templars…not my most favorite group of people you can imagine. I still wonder how they can sense my magic; you would think they wouldn't notice me being a mage, what with no staff or "robes". "You must have me confused for someone else, Ser Templar, now I'll be off." I argued, trying to utilize my silver tongue.

"You are going nowhere mage!" the Templar remarked, putting his hand on his sword and his other on my shoulder. "Really now?" I commented trying to ignore his stupidity. Yes I know I could have used the whole "Oh I'm a conscripted Grey Warden" bit, but Templar's don't exactly favor the Grey Wardens and our "kinder" look on magic.

Despite the Templar's ability to take away a mage's mana, I was never the one to be at the mercy of the Templar's hand. As his hand land on my shoulder, I grabbed his wrist, turned towards him, twisting his wrist so much I could hear it break. Next thing that Templar knew was him on the ground with a charged lightning bolt aimed at the back of his head. When the other Templars tried to move closer towards us, I reacted by keeping my foot on his back and his wrist in my hand, and I aimed the bolt toward the rest of them.

"Back off!" I yelled. "I will not go down without a fight!" But my bark was worse than my bite. The younger one without his helmet charged me with a mace. I didn't want to maim the poor sap so I evaded the first swing of his mace. The second one was replied with a wrist-broken Templar being pushed at him. As the two fell over each other, I felt weak, drained. "Bastard…" I grunted. I could barely stand on my own feet. I was going to feel sore later.

The oldest Templar slammed his fist into my face and knocked me back with the pommel of his sword. With a sword point at my throat, you could pretty much see how well my day was going then.

"Don't move maleficar! The Maker will put his judgment upon you."

"Maleficar! I am no blood mage you buffoon and that last sentence didn't even make sense!" I mentioned trying to regain feeling in my face. That wasn't the most brilliant idea, since only pain came next. "Death is the only solution for malificars," the bald Templar said, "Among other things of course." I think his name was Alrik back then but, I can't remember everything. "Didn't anyone tell you that swooping was bad?" a voice questioned behind us. "What the hell?" I said as I look behind myself trying to pay attention to the sword a few inches from my neck.

"You may want to release our recruit there, Ser Templar," the man said as the sword finally withdrew from my neck. "He deserves to have his head on a pike, Grey Warden; the maleficar was ready to strike us down." "If he was, I'm sure you wouldn't be speaking at this moment and if I recall, you didn't give him much choice." "Never!" Alrik shouted, "This mage needs to be punished…severely." The youngest of the group was calmer and quiet and had nothing to say.

"Well you can take that up with Knight-Commander Greagoir, but for now we will be off." I quickly manage to get myself to my feet, still feeling weak from the mana drain that the Templar used.

"Well I don't know how you managed to get Templar's from slicing my neck open, but thanks." I said as we finally got farther from the Templars.

"Well, Grey Wardens always protect one of their own, by the way, names Alistair, junior Grey Warden."

"Name's Nihlus, wish I could kick in the bald one's head in, he seems…off."

"Yeah well, most Templars get crazy once they have been off lyrium for a while." He said.

"Well I'm glad you came when you did, so is there anything drastically we have to do?" I asked. "Come with me, Duncan wishes to continue your Joining up there." Alistair said as he proceeded to point to the clearing in the ruins up the stairs.

"My…Joining?" I inquired.

"Don't ask me, Duncan is the real Grey Warden here, I'm still fresh off the line." he said managing to add in a joke as well. "Well let's get up there before Duncan sends a search party."

"Wait, didn't I just hear that?" I thought to myself as I began walking, well crawling towards the stairs. As I past the quartermasters and approached the stairs, Maharial and two other humans walked down. Maharial and I gave each other the "good luck nod" as we passed each other. After, yet another flight of stairs, I went into the clearing, to find Alistair and Duncan beside a chalice, the stench of the darkspawn blood in the air. "Well this should be fun," I thought to myself.

==H==

"_Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can't be forsworn. And should you perish, know that you sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that on day we shall join you." _

Those words became my only way of life that day. As Alistair was instructed to say them, by Duncan, he turned around with a chalice. "This is your final trial for there is no turning back," Duncan said. He handed me the chalice and I could see where that Darkspawn blood was put to use. "Nothing will prepare me for what is to pass, I suppose." I said. "But know this; I will uphold my duty as a Grey Warden. To stop the Blights."

The disgusting concoction that slithered down my throat burned as it went down. It was very agonizing, and my vision turned black at first but it became…clear. Until the dreams …I could see it then as I see it now. The Black City, I could literally see it so well it was like I was there like the magisters of old. My vision however grew dark as I laid eyes on the Archdemon itself. It…spoke to me, in some form of language, nothing recognizable. But one thing was clear as rain; it said "We can be free."

From what seemed to be endless hours of these visions, I finally woke. Duncan and Alistair both were standing over me. My head was pounding as Duncan said "It is finished, you have survived."

"Um survive?" I mention as I tried to get myself to my feet, and Alistair then helped me get up as I asked, "What do you mean survive?"

"We pay a heavy price to become what we are; we keep what we know to protect the only thing that assures the Grey Wardens a victory in the Blight."

"The Joining you mean?" I asked. "Correct. It is why we keep its secrets, if others knew what you know now, defeating the Blight would be impossible." Duncan replied.

"Did you have dreams?" Alistair asked.

"If you mean visions that have burned into my memories, then yes, yes I did." I said. "So what happened to Maharial?"

"He and other recruits, Daveth and Ser Jory should be getting back soon." Alistair implied.

"And I'm guessing they will have to go through the same thing I just did." I asked.

"Yes but there is one more thing, but I suppose we can talk about it after they return and complete their Joining."

"I just hope it doesn't involve more Darkspawn spew…it involves Darkspawn spew doesn't it? Maker gives me strength." I whispered as Duncan and Alistair left me and went down the stairs, leaving me to stay at the chalice. I tried to think of what that dragon said..."We can be free." My dreams still haunt me to this day. My research has been based on those words almost every day of my existence. If they can be freed and defeated, then I can go…and end it.

==H==

It became almost dark as I waited in the clearing, looking over the edge. "Why here, why bring all forces of this country to one spot with no sure guarantee to win. Is there something more to this, does the Maker have a plan or is he truly gone?" It was true that the Joining would change us forever; I could start, feeling the Darkspawn as they grew closer. I looked into the distance, and I saw what looked to be a dragon in the distance, it was farther from the battle, but it looked like nothing like the dragon in my dreams. In my bewilderment I gathered my strength and lightning shot from my arms into the sky. It hit nothing as I imagined but I did not care.

I turned around to see Duncan, Alistair, Maharial, and the other two recruits walking towards me and the other chalice. Of course Maharial had to pick up a friend.

"Well, it looks like we have a new friend with us, and he smells better then you, Maharial."

"At least he drools less then you." He replied.

"Oh I'm touched that you noticed. So did you get whatever you were scouring in the Wilds?" I asked.

"Well, if you consider, Darkspawn, Grey Warden treaties, and a Witch of the Wilds, things to find." He replied.

"What with these damnable tests, haven't we earned our worth?" The man I suppose was named Ser Jory, asked.

"Are you blubbering again?" Daveth said un-expectantly.

"How about both of you Shems clench you mouths shut and let's get this over with, you are both giving me a migraine, as if the Taint wasn't killing me already!" Maharial yelled. Jory kept his cowardly look on his face, as Daveth looked un-afraid as Duncan took their vials and added them to the concoction with in the chalice. He then brought the cup forth and said, "Nihlus would you do the honors?"

"Wait what? Did you lose track of time?" I said.

"As the newest to the order, it is your honor to say the words of those before us." He argued.

"Fine," I groaned. "What the hell did you say Alistair?" I thought to myself. "Oh I know those who are about to…drink spew. We salute you?" I said as I tried to throw off a fake smile. Duncan gave me one of those disapproving looks. "Right…come on Nihlus stop fooling around." I said to myself before I finally got it right.

"_Join us, brothers and sisters. Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry the duty that can't be forsworn. And should you perish, know that you sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that on day we shall join you." _

Daveth was the first to go, however he did not get through it as well as I did. He screamed in agony as I did and held his throat, but his body started to slump towards the ground.

"I am sorry Daveth." Duncan said as Daveth passed from this world. "Maker preserves us!" Jory yelped out. "You ask too much."

"Step forth Jory." Duncan replied. Jory kept backing up away from the group. "If only I had known…You ask too much!" He shouted at us. Maharial was stern, looking at him as if he was crazy. Maharial was very different from the two it seemed. Daveth would do anything to prove his worth amongst the people, Jory would want to protect his wife if he wasn't as much as a coward to do it. Maharial had that attitude that said, "I'm not giving up." He wanted the Joining as much as anyone, but not at a chance of glory, but out of chance that he can live longer then he has, and a chance for revenge.

As Jory drew his sword, Duncan unsheathed his dagger, handing the chalice to Alistair, saying "There can be no turning back."

However, Jory tried to let out the first strike, but it would be his last, as the next thing I remember, was the first time I took a life, not including Darkspawn. The energy flowed from my arms and out of my hand, and the energy shaped into a shield-like veil. As it went further, with every movement it made being tracked by my eye, the pulse struck Jory with full force. It ended with Jory being impaled on the Tevinter statue, and Duncan taking the cup from Alistair and handing it to Maharial. I was awestruck to see them so calm towards the fact that I just killed a man, a man with a wife and a child on the way, but I guess that wasn't important enough compared to the blight.

Maharial's Joining went much smoothly; apparently his Joining went just like mine did, but I highly doubt that. He moved his head for a moment and when he opened his eyes, his eyes were blank white. When Maharial finally woke, it was the beginning of the race to save Fereldan, from itself and the Blight.

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><p>(AN: I feel like Nihlus is just trying to irritate the Templars, but at least he can manage to without his magic. Don't worry I'm trying to give him more of a mortal side and yes a reference to Ser Otto (Glad you died) Alrik. Enjoy!)


End file.
